Packaged Goods: A Message To Singles
03rd Dec 2013, Author: Oliver Marcelle
I was scrolling through my timeline on a particular social media site and saw a selfie posted by a woman. The caption read something like “Why can’t I find someone who knows how to love me the right way” (Let me interject here that this post is not just aimed at women…men you listen up too!!)
What’s wrong with that you ask? Nothing at all, except that she was ‘dressed’ in a black piece of cloth not large enough to keep me, or anyone else from seeing all that she had to offer. The short answer to her question is that she does not LOOK like she is seeking real love. She visually fits into a category of the type of woman that men pursue for sexual conquest. Her caption suggests that she is getting more attention from the ‘treat em like a prostitute’ guy than the ‘treat em like a queen’ guy. Now some of you may take issue with that, and retort with the argument that what she looks like gives no right for anyone to treat her unlady-like…I agree 100%! Let’s be real clear – IT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE! However, let’s also be real honest…everyone has not mastered the art of bouncing the eyes, or subduing the mind and the thoughts that may occur when seeing a scantily clad woman. Instead of being complimentary, more often than not, the comments and actions resulting from these thoughts are predatory in nature.
Let’s keep it ALL the way real…Any man looking at this image is not thinking about love at all! They are not saying “My, I can only imagine how lovely it would be to have a conversation with her” They are thinking about how to get close to and sample the goods displayed in the packaging! As stated earlier, I am not (nor is anyone else) remotely in a position to judge this woman at all, I am merely reading the packaging. Her packaging will only attract individuals interested in that particular ‘product’.
I will illustrate my point with an analogy:
I love corn! Corn on the cob, or corn in a can…doesn’t matter. I could eat it directly out of the can! When I go to the store I go directly to the section where corn is and pick up a couple cans without even thinking, because of the way the cans are labeled. I know exactly how, and what it will be used for when I purchase it. I do not go into the store and buy cans labeled as corn hoping that they will in actuality be peas, nor am I planning to use them in a dish that calls for peas.
I am sure you understand where I am going with this. The woman who posted a picture of herself with basically no clothes on has labeled herself as one thing, but is wanting someone to pick her off the shelf and use her as something completely different, regardless of the packaging. It does not work that way!!
Be careful how you represent yourself! First impressions are lasting ones, and people will treat you according to the way you represent yourself. Don’t get upset if someone responds to you in a manner that you do not appreciate if you have packaged yourself in that manner.
So the question then arises: “What about the people who are labeled perfectly but turn out to be something totally different?” Unfortunately that does happen (I, as much as I hate to admit it, was one of those people at times). But lets go back to the corn scenario:
You grab a can of corn and take it home and put it on the shelf. At some point you will have to open that can to reveal the contents. On the day that you open the can you find that it is not corn inside…what do you do? Do you attempt to use it anyway? Do you say ” Maybe it will taste like corn”, or “Maybe I can still make it fit into this recipe”? No you don’t! You take immediate action. You throw it away. Or, you take it back to the store and get your money back.
This is where many single people slip up. Instead of taking immediate action, they attempt to ‘doctor’ the situation, which almost always ends in heartache!
Ladies, (and men as well – don’t feel like this just applies to the ladies) present yourself (in appearance, speech, activity etc) in the way that you want to be treated. In the event that you are not what you present outwardly, be prepared to graciously accept the treatment that accompanies the way in which you present yourself!
How are you representing yourself? How do you want to be represented? Package yourself accordingly…
Oliver and Denise Marcelle are speakers and marriage mentors who are passionate about relationships and helping couples discover and live out their own unique, God-ordained marriage. With a candid look at times into their own marriage, couples find them relatable and are encouraged to do the work needed to align their own relationship more closely to what God has designed.
Oli and Denise have created and conducted seminars, facilitated at conferences, spoken for wedding party dinners and small groups sessions. They also do one-on-one marriage and pre-marital mentoring.
It is their belief that all relationships stand a chance, if given the right tools.
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